Sunday, 13 March 2016

Holding on to the desire to let go




I don't know if there are some more people like me ,who are perpetually embroiled in an existential quest to find the meaning of their lives.People who often wake up with thousands of questions, 
about where their life is heading,where would they want to go,what would they like to be...

People who experience a sense of vacuum in their lives along with the never ending struggle to fill that vacuum.

People like me,whose lives are filled with dozens of 'I don't know' responses..
And sometimes this state of not knowing feels like a thousand daggers across the heart.

I mean how can you not know?

It's your life,your space,your dreams and hopes and all you can say is 'I don't know'.

What do you want? Why do you want it?Why don't you want it?What do you want to do ?
And so many more questions with just one answer...I Don't know.

How long will this not knowing last? And to that also,you get an 'I don't know'.

So then how will you become what you need to be? Where will life take you?
Isn't it better to just give up?

You can't go with the flow because that's not something you want.You can't direct your life anywhere in particular because you don't know..

 How about giving up?Give up the struggle to do everything,to be everything you ought to be?

Simply quit everything.

That should do the trick right?

May be yes,may be no.

How about changing this quitting and giving up to letting go?

Letting go of this struggle so that you can enjoy this state of not knowing.

Letting go of this desire to know everything; because if all mysteries are disclosed to us,where's the fun in life?

Letting go of this holding on to memories,emotions,events..

Letting go of this need to be everything because we are not meant to be everything.We are meant to be what we choose to be.And if we keep holding on to so many things and identities, that we think we 'ought to be';there won't be any room left for us to be what we choose to be.

We are not defined by the labels we give to ourselves.Rather,those labels are defined by our existence.

We exist first and then these labels are attached to us.








Are we born engineers,doctors,teachers,lovers,parents,employers?

At different points in time,we choose to get attached to certain identities.



But without realizing,we start getting consumed by them.And a time comes,where that one identity that we think defines us,gets blurred.

                                                      And that's when the struggle begins.


So why not let go of this desire to struggle and win? Because when we let go of this constant struggle to become,to choose,to reach,to acquire;we breathe a little more.And with every breath,we come closer to our own selves. We start enjoying this state of not knowing and before we know,our answer to most questions turn into 'I know...'

May be there's nothing known as quitting.You can't really give up on life...can you?

Perhaps life is and will always be an endless series of 'letting go...'

For when you let go of some things,you choose to move towards some more...








Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Women and Weight!

Have you ever stopped and wondered about  what all you have to do each and every day? When was the last time you did something that you enjoy and actually enjoyed it? Don't you also think about the time when you used to be fit, active, slim, used to exercise, look good and feel good about yourself?

Often when you look at yourself now,you are clouded with negative thoughts about yourself. You wonder, "Where has all the time gone? Will it ever come back? Have I become less attractive than before? Why am I putting on weight? What can I do about it? Will I be able to do something about it?" or perhaps, you have just one thought," let it be..who cares".

Women are increasingly becoming more and more susceptible to hormonal imbalances and weight issues. Being overweight not only impacts their physical appearance, but psychological and emotional well-being as well. At some point or the other, all women have gone through this feeling of low self-esteem and a certain amount of dislike for themselves because of how they look. This is becoming increasingly common with married women.                                     

Here's why women are increasingly putting on weight and feeling depressed :

Responsibilities : We are modern, but not modern enough to understand that taking care of the house is not a woman's job only! The age old belief that women have to don multiple hats and discharge their duties as mothers, wives, daughter, daughters-in-law is still largely prevalent. Thus, leaving women with lesser and lesser time for themselves. With the advancement in age and the roles that women have to play, their 'me time' is heavily compromised. Many times, even if alternatives are available, women are left with little or no motivation to make that extra effort for themselves.

Duty to others greater than duty to ourselves: Sadly, that's what we women feel and this belief is deep-seated and strong. That's the belief we grow up with and nurture it all throughout. The mere fact that we need time off for ourselves, simply becomes an act of selfishness. Who wants to be called selfish right? So, we let go of the duty that we have towards ourselves and continue doing things for the betterment of others. This holds true not only for married women, but  single and working women as well. After all, in all spheres,others are always before us.

Neglecting the self: Due to the above mentioned situations, it is obvious that women end up neglecting themselves so much that they don't even realise that their bodies are getting affected. By the time they realise,their weight is through the roof,their self-image and self esteem takes a hit and a strong feeling of helplessness and depression sets in.

Poor emotional health: Not being able to take out time for ourselves, is not going to take us too far and in most cases it doesn't. Whether we are single, working, married, studying etc we need to be the center of our own universe. Being unfair to ourselves, is not a long term healthy practice and weight and other issues are a big price to pay for it. Long term emotional disturbances also wreak havoc on the mind and consequently the body. These days it's the poor emotional health leading to poor
physical health and well-being.

So, here's what women should do:

Respect yourself and your needs: It's really not that difficult as it seems. We have programmed ourselves to ignore our own thoughts, emotions and needs so much that the idea of respecting them seems distant. It's about time that we start listening to ourselves and paying attention to what we need in terms of  eating on time, rest, exercise, free time, pursuing a hobby, communication etc. If you respect and care for yourself, only then will others do the same. Otherwise, we all end up with that horrible 'taken for granted feeling.'

Communicate: The more women I meet, the more I find that they are unable to communicate with their partners or people around them. Lack of communication builds up frustration and anger which ultimately starts, disrupting the body's natural rhythm. Low mood, anger, frustration takes away our appetite, sleep and motivation.

Sleep: Women need to sleep and that too well! If you are facing difficulty in sleeping or are waking up in the middle of the night and it's been going on for a long time; it's about time you consulted a therapist.
                                                 
Eat on time: It's sad to know that we find it convenient to let go off our food and timings for our family and other errands. And that's one of the major reasons why we end up putting on weight in the first place.

Do the things that you love: Yes, we have responsibilities and duties. But believe me, even having 15 mins to yourself and doing something that you enjoy, is a great stress buster! I'm sure we can manage that much at least!
Let not the numbers on the scale get the better of you! Numbers don't define you. You define the numbers. 

Take charge. Feel good. Stay healthy!