Wandering Thoughts..

She sat next to her phone, waiting for it to beep.. Like every other day. Waiting for that one message, that one 'hi'  that would put a smile on her face for the whole day.. Sometimes the whole week.. or may be the month.. Her friends wondered what's wrong with her. Why does she always obsess about this one message? Agreed, she liked him. May be, he liked her too. Well, he never said it openly.  Perhaps, she just assumed he did. But she knew better. She didn't just like him;she loved him. It was that always, forever, eternal sort of love.  A love, often seen in the movies, written about in books. A love, where there is a happy ever after, in its most absolute sense. And she knew, he only liked her. He loved her as a friend.. or so he would say.  He loved everything about her and would notice even the slightest change in her voice. They were so tuned to each other, that she had begun to preempt those once a week messages and those fortnightly

I don't know why,but we all like to believe (consciously or subconsciously) that relationships are difficult.It is this belief,that translates into our actions and ends up making relationships complicated as hell! Sounds weird? May be. Over the years,I have realized that we as humans have developed and nurtured this tendency to complicate and magnify things in our minds.With so much happening around us,so many demands to fulfill,so many personas to attend to; we cannot keep things simple. Unfortunately, one of the things that is essential for our existence, our relationships,end up suffering. When we have a train of thoughts running in our minds,when we are busy building up scenarios in our heads,how many times do we actually communicate properly as to what's happening? Instead,we put our guards up-scream,shout,hurt the other person and then assume that he/she will understand. Really?                                                                           

Let me be imperfect, I don't know how to please you.  Let me be broken,I don't know how to piece you. Let me not be a shadow, I don't know how to follow you. Let me be alone, I don't know how to be with you.  You can't be my light for I am not in the dark.  You can't darken my world, that's filled with my light.  You want me to walk but I know how to run.  You want me to stop, but I know how to have some fun.  I don't know how to listen to you for you don't know how to talk..  You can't listen to me because to myself.. I talk.  I go on exploring this world so full of me.. I don't have time for yours.  Perhaps you should do too and then you wouldn't be so busy with me. You can't catch me for I am the wind.. I blow, I flow and wrap everything around me in my own air. Wrapped in my own imperfections.. I am free.

I don't know if there are some more people like me ,who are perpetually embroiled in an existential quest to find the meaning of their lives.People who often wake up with thousands of questions,  about where their life is heading,where would they want to go,what would they like to be... People who experience a sense of vacuum in their lives along with the never ending struggle to fill that vacuum. People like me,whose lives are filled with dozens of 'I don't know' responses.. And sometimes this state of not knowing feels like a thousand daggers across the heart. I mean how can you not know? It's your life,your space,your dreams and hopes and all you can say is 'I don't know'. What do you want? Why do you want it?Why don't you want it?What do you want to do ? And so many more questions with just one answer...I Don't know. How long will this not knowing last? And to that also,you get an 'I don't kno

Have you ever stopped and wondered about  what all you have to do each and every day? When was the last time you did something that you enjoy and actually enjoyed it? Don't you also think about the time when you used to be fit, active, slim, used to exercise, look good and feel good about yourself? Often when you look at yourself now,you are clouded with negative thoughts about yourself. You wonder, "Where has all the time gone? Will it ever come back? Have I become less attractive than before? Why am I putting on weight? What can I do about it? Will I be able to do something about it?" or perhaps, you have just one thought," let it be..who cares". Women are increasingly becoming more and more susceptible to hormonal imbalances and weight issues. Being overweight not only impacts their physical appearance, but psychological and emotional well-being as well. At some point or the other, all women have gone through this feeling of low self-esteem and a c

We are humans. We love to love. There comes a time in all our lives, when we find that perfect someone. That someone, with whom we can envision our most beautiful days and the loveliest of the nights. Just the mere thought of that someone, gives a whole new meaning to life. We end up doing things we have never done.We feel those emotions which we didn't even know existed within us. Our world turns upside down and we enjoy it. Some say we get blinded by love. I say, we get consumed by love. It's not that we can't see what's happening.But just the fact that it's happening,is bigger than any other truth at that moment in time. We are all incomplete in some or the other aspect and we're always looking for completion. Finding the love of our lives, is the greatest sense of completion one feels, when that actually happens. No matter where you go, what you do, you always yearn to share a part of your life with that someone, who makes you feel

Sit next to me, Let me talk. For once keep quiet! Say nothing, Don’t talk. 'You talk too much!' she says, And never listen! But I do,I say.. I always listen.. To everything, that everyone says  Yet ,you say I don’t.. Do you listen to yourself she asked? I said.. I don't. And then she walked away.. Left me in a trance, I closed my eyes and gave myself a chance.. I shut out the world, The noise and the crowd; And wondered what’s within me.. A burning flame, a beating heart and a tiny voice That never screams, seldom does it shout. I sit with it every night, listening to its innocent whispers.. I shut out the world, The noise and the crowd, And hear my silence…a bit loud.. Sometimes I hear the sea waves roaring, Sometimes I see the sea waves soaring. Sometimes I hear me talking to myself, Giving me company in a world so alone; Showing me dreams, Some day I may own... I wonder why I to