Saturday, 30 May 2015

Fool Me Twice

My heart has been fooled many a times
Once or twice doesn't even count.
Every time it hurt more than the last time
Once or twice doesn't even count.


Still, I chose to wear it on my sleeve,
To stop those,who were eager to leave.

But left they still,
They were here to leave;
Just tossed my heart back to me,
And I put it back on my sleeve;
Just in case I met someone,
Who didn't want to leave.


Years came and went by,
All I heard was an empty good bye..
And my heart turned more and more sad
The bruises and the incisions,
Hurt so bad..



And every time they hurt more than the last time,
Those thousands of moments,I can't even recount,
Once or twice doesn't even count.


But,was I a fool to get the hurt?
I even tried changing my shirt!
Perhaps, with a shorter sleeve,
To let my heart peek out,
And stop anyone,
Who wanted to leave..




And I still got fooled
Not once, not twice
More times,than I ever could realize..


But now I've grown-smart and wise,
And I have my own theories,
Now,I love to theorize.

So I know,that the fool I thought,I was..
I wasn't..
To hold onto someone who could never fit into my life,
And stopping them from taking a leave,
By wearing my little heart on my sleeve..


Well,I turned out to be a bigger fool!
And all this while,I never realized..


But now I have grown-smart and wise
And I have my own theories and I love to theorize.

And now I know
That I need to play with my heart, a little peek-a- boo,
For those who are meant to stay,
Will just do.


#This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda#

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Wings of Tomorrow

She has wings
But she can't fly.


She has tears
But she can't cry.

They say her feet are rooted beneath the ground;
She can't find them,
But she does try.

She digs and digs and deeper too
She gets tired,worried and exhaustedly too.


Seasons come and seasons go
She stays still
With the wind, she doesn't want to flow.

Away and farther away into an unknown world
Where her wings will be cut and tears dried
And no one would care how much she cried...


She digs and digs and deeper too.
She will find her feet
And fly too


And cry she will,
But not the tears of sorrow;
Cry she will,
With joy

For a day that will belong to her;

Her 'tomorrow'.


Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Yes, it hurts.



"The thing about pain is, that it demands to be felt"
-The Fault in our stars.

There is something very soothing, very calming about pain; about being in pain. I mean any kind of pain-physical, mental or emotional.

Of course being in pain is painful! It’s horrible and pathetic. How we all wish, we never experience any such thing ever in our lives.

But the truth-at a very unconscious level is that we celebrate this pain. We take pride in this pain.

Simply, because it gives us a sense of being alive and human. As if our ultimate goal in this life is to suffer and to be in pain. 

Well, at one level, by virtue of being human, we are bound to go through this pain. But the purpose of this pain is not pain itself. It’s about this journey that we have to undertake-willingly or unwillingly; to become the person that we need to be, in this lifetime.

However, for most part of our lives, we just focus on the experiential aspect of pain-the simple fact that ‘it hurts’ and not on why going through this hurt, at this point is important.        


Pain is not just an act in itself-without any roots and without any path. It has a cause,that needs to be understood and eliminated. It has a path, that we all need to traverse in order to reach the ultimate state of ‘not being in pain’.

For instance,what does a fracture in the hand or leg teach us?one, that we need to be more careful with our physical body.two, it tells us who all really ‘care for us’ and who all, do ‘we really care about’. 

So when this girl/boy that we really like,doesn't call or message to find out how we are,we feel dejected.And when he does, it fills our heart with joy.

To know,that our suffering,our pain means something to someone,is a big thing.As if, the only reason we feel this pain is to get some kind  of validation from the external world.

A validation that tells us that we are cared for, our struggle is appreciated,we are viewed as strong and capable.

But thats not the only reason we suffer or feel pain.

It's a journey that ultimately leads us to our ownself. 

When we fracture a body part,we go through so much pain and discomfort.By the time the cast is about to come off, we have already discovered a new potential within ourselves.In retrospect,we might have even performed some very difficult tasks that could not have been done by someone else at that time.

And the story is the same for emotional pain,trauma and injury itself.Pain is pain-no matter  in which form we experience it.

We celebrate this emotional pain. We revel in the fact that we have gone through so much. As if,it is an indicator of the fact that we’re human; that we’re meant to suffer.

However, it’s not the case. Just because we’re human, we’re not meant to suffer. We suffer because we’re meant to learn from this experience and become more and more humane.      

We suffer, because at every stage in life, we’re meant to learn something more about ourselves and come closer to being our real self.

What do we learn from heart breaks and break ups? May be, we were with the wrong person. May be, the time was not right for a relationship or may be, our priorities changed. 

In every reason, there is a reason for us. Merely looking at an isolated incident of pain and heart break is not enough.

 A pain without reason, serves no purpose because pain serves a purpose.

If physical pain tells you that something is not right with or in your body. Then mental or emotional pain tells you, that something is not right for you or with you.The only reason we get knocked down by life is,so that we can get back up again.And in the end, It's not about the result,as much as about the process. 




Yes,suffering and pain is inevitable-its a given in our lives. An existential fact.

Yet,we choose to isolate it from the true meaning that it serves for us.Thus,making the pain bigger than our life purpose.

So,the purpose of life is not to suffer.But,to learn from this suffering.

And those who have felt,acknowledged,accepted and traversed through their pain; have also seen the light,at the end of the tunnel.



Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Be the best guest!



I have never been a fan of being a 'guest', because most of the times,I don't know how should I behave in someone else's house! I often find myself tongue tied and quite shy to even ask where the washroom is!

I guess it's quite normal.Whenever you go to a new place,meet new people,you do feel a bit odd (till the time you become socially skilled!).So I was just wondering if there is a way to simplify the whole 'being the good guest' deal. And I have managed to find a few important things that should be kept in mind when someone invites you over.

Being a host and guest is equally difficult.It can be nerve-wracking at times, if a specific purpose is attached to the situation.Yet, no matter what the occasion may be,some basic do's and don'ts can go a long way in easing everyone out.

1.Don't go empty handed : If it's a lunch,high-tea or dinner invite, it's good to carry something, as a token of appreciation for the hosts.This is more important, if  the situation and invitation is formal or you've been invited for the first time.Things like a bouquet, some chocolates,cookies etc are good enough to be given.Of course,what you give and how much you give will always be subject to the ocassion,level of formality and the frequency of your visits to someone's house.With close friends and family members,it's absolutely not required (unless it's out of affection :) )

2.Decide the time and stick to it : It's always better to choose a time that is convenient for everyone. Being bang on time would be the ideal scenario.However,Indian standard time says we're allowed to be  15 mins to half an hour late.But, if there is any change in the plan (early arrivals or unexpected delay), as guests, we must inform our hosts as soon as possible.Arriving earlier than the decided time,may make them uncomfortable or embarrassed if they aren't prepared.Arriving very late, is certainly not appreciated at all.Whatever the case may be, it's a good idea to inform.


3.Interact with the hosts : So you managed to arrive on time, you gave them your gifts.Now that you're comfortably seated..what next? There will be food and drinks for sure (that's why you accepted the invite!), but how do we kill time ? Well...interact!A good way to ease the awkwardness is by engaging in small-talk.Look around the room,find something interesting,appreciate it or appreciate the food,drink etc.These are good ways to break the ice. Many times, as guests ,we go on and on about ourselves.Yes, that's good!But,it would be better, if the conversation was two sided (it's a conversation and not a monologue :-p). Remember, your hosts are trying their best to make you comfortable.Therefore, it's important to keep them engaged as well.And that's how everyone will have a good time!


4.If you have a problem,say it politely : I personally don't like it when people ask me to 'lock my dog inside'.Yes,I know people are afraid of dogs and pets can be quite aggressive as well.But,if it genuinely is a problem, then just mentioning it will work.Even if you have some preferences or dislikes,it's ok to mention or inquire beforehand. Whenever we go to someone's house,the first thing we all ask about the food is-'isme kheera hai kya?'(does it have any cucumber in it?) and that's because my dad is allergic to it! Why put yourself through discomfort , when the actual idea is to enjoy?

5.Ask where the washroom is! : I guess this is more true for me than most other people I know! But, I'm sure would be a few more like me,who would find it awkward to walk around someone else's place. But, when nature calls,you never ignore!

6.Appreciate your hosts : If they have truly been good to you or you can see their efforts, you must appreciate! We cannot have similar tastes or preferences,mind-sets,choices etc at all times.Yet, inviting someone over means a lot of care and responsibility.We are always worried about being judged or scrutinized by the guests. So as guests, we can do the bickering and cribbing later (back home is better). It's always a good idea to depart on a good note.

7 To leave or not to leave : There can't be a clear answer to that! Stay longer ,if you're enjoying! If you must leave, then you must start preparing yourself 15 minutes in advance.Getting up to leave abruptly, can be quite rude.Hosts will insist, but there is no reason why as guests, we need to be rude or stay longer than what  we can.

The ultimate aim is to have a good time!(and good food  :p )

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Wow-at first sight

                                            

                        He didn't know who  HE is..


"Why are you here?"


"Because I want to talk to you."

But I don’t want to.(Starts fiddling with the hair brushes and other accessories kept on the dressing table).

"You know you’re pretending to ignore me..right?"

"Wrong!I am ignoring you.Do you mind leaving me alone? I’m trying to get ready here. I have to leave for work in sometime."

He can see that Sam is really irritated.Yet,HE refuses to leave.

"You have 45minutes at your disposal..You woke up an hour earlier than your usual time.You’ve prepared everything. Now you’re just killing time...aren’t you? "

Sam throws his hair brush in a fit of irritation.”What is your problem??I have been trying to shut you out since quite a few days now..but you just wouldn’t leave me alone!It’s because of you that I haven’t slept properly the whole night.I’ve been jumping up and down like a clown since morning! What do you want??”

“I want your troubles to end Sam. You know I care for you. Every time I try to talk to you, you shut me out.Sometimes it’s the crap music ,sometimes your inane phone conversations with random people, sometimes you load me with so much work that I have no option but to retreat..”

“Help me? By asking me to do things that are not possible and not to mention..troublesome for everyone!”
“I know..and I’m sorry  about that. But,you know it’s for your good right..Why do you want to take everyone’s burden upon yourself? Why do you blame and criticise yourself for mistakes and faults of others?Why are you leading this false life?"

“Because those people are my loved ones..my friends, my family..they trust me, rely on me, expect some things out of me..And I feel bad when I can’t live up to their ideals.”

“What about your own ideals? Your own life, your wishes, desres...they mean nothing?”

“I have everything..can’t you see? WE..have everything! See..this house, the fleet of servants, our favourite cars..people love me ..adore me..What else do I want..What else do you want?”

“I want you to be genuinely  happy Sam..I want us to be happy...If you truly were happy, you wouldn’t need to shut me out.You would be listening to me and changing things for yourself..taking charge. Everyone else is in charge of your own life except you. You’re so busy being this famous, rich,loved-by-family kind of guy, that you’ve forgotten who you really are..People just tell you what they want you to do and you just do it. You don’t even wait for me to say anything!”

“Because you give me a headache! If I start listening to you, I would end up losing all this that I have...”

“Yeah...all these material comforts which just make your headache go away...”

“Exactly! “
Dead silence.

“Look, I know what you’re saying is correct..There is no me in my own life...but ..that’s how it’s going to be..please just stay quiet and let me work and do all the other things that I don’t want to do but have to do...I chose this life..I didn't know what I was getting into..and now I don't think i can get out.."

“But..”

His words were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

“Sam!What the hell!It’s been over an hour and you’re still inside!”

Sam hurriedly opens the door only to find his ravishing wife looking even more ravishing!

“Wow..you look amazing and that too early in the morning!Any special plans for the day?”

“Yeah” replied Sia.”I’m going to meet Anita. We’re spending the day together..And you know she loves to see me all dressed up. She feels special ...”

Just then Sia’s phone rang.It was Anita.

“Hey love!” Sia  answered.”Of course sweetheart!Will be there in about 45minutes...Yea..Sam is dropping me...Haha..I know he’s a sweetheart....”

Just as Sam was opening the door of his car to let his beloved wife slide in; HE called out to him again.

“Sam!”
“What!?”shouted Sam angrily.
“Nothing.Just wanted to say WOW!At first sight, who would say that your wife isn’t really your wife..and I’m sure everyone ,including you,agrees to the fact that you indeed make a good husband...
Only if, you would’ve given a shot to a real relationship and a real marriage...Only if  your wife actually loved you ...and not Anita...”

“Sam!what is wrong with you today!”bellowed Sia from the car.

“Ugh..nothing Sia..just ...my head hurts...”

“Yeah..like everyday. Go see a doctor.And for now, please hurry up!”

Sam went around the car and sat on his respective seat quietly.

"The price people pay for ambitions....The price I have paid....."

And Sam drove off with Sia; like every other day..leaving himself behind-The 'HE' that wouldn't shut up.


*This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.*

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

The Lost Soul of Friendship


   The Friendship that was...


I have always believed that friends play a very crucial role in our lives.
Our family is that set of people,that is chosen for us,while our friends is the family that we choose for ourselves.
There are many ways through which we meet our friends.But the decision to include them in our lives or not, lies solely with us (knowingly or unknowingly).

No matter where you are,at which stage of life you're in, in which situation you are; you always need a friend.
I think we're naturally programmed to share somethings with family and some with friends.And it's even better when the lines between these two categories are blurred or non-existent

Friendship comes in so many shapes and sizes and is loaded with so many situations and meanings.

Yet, at the root of it lies the feeling of 'sharing'.

 A friend is someone, with whom you can share just about anything under the sun.Sometimes we end up with friends who are similar to us and sometimes we are poles apart.
Yet, we want them, because it's a human tendency and need to 'share' your life with those around you.Those people, who occupy those 'special' places in your hearts.

Lucky are those, who have been able to preserve the soul of their friendship right from its inception.

If you can close your eyes and think of even one person who doesn't make you insecure,or makes you want to share your thoughts and emotions without hesitation,then that's true friendship.

If you can genuinely feel happy for your friend's success and not fret over your 'non-accomplishments' in that moment; then you have a genuine friendship.If you can even acknowledge your own weaknesses in comparison, and still be happy for your friend, or vice-versa, it is a bond worth cherishing.

When someone's mere presence or voice, makes you feel that things aren't that bad or you feel 'happy-high' after some inane conversation, just smile at yourself and at your relationship.

We should be glad for the fact, that there are some people in our lives who are as crazy and idiosyncratic in their own ways as we are.

We should rejoice at the fact, that no matter what happens,someone will never leave your side.


But,something has changed over the years and the change is progressing. Friendship still exists, friends are still there.However, the soul is missing.

The soul that carries meaning with it, is missing.

Friends are now categorized for purpose. Information is not shared,but disseminated.

The intent to remain friends is replaced by time ,work,priorities and other excuses.

Friendship is gripped by insecurity,jealousy and defense and need. With so many infiltrators coming in,the soul is scared and lost. And it knows that perhaps, no one will make an attempt to find it.We are too busy with our own insecurities to even notice that it's missing.

We don't need friends because we want to share our lives.In fact, we want to guard our lives as much as we can and we just 'need' friends to hang out with, to engage in some social activities, to fill up our parties and celebrations, Facebook accounts, to deal with the 'mundane-ness' of life.


 Times have changed. We are  progressing.But are we really?  

In these times,when everything is at our disposal, we still hang onto our needs..

And fulfillment of one, generates another.Sometimes even the line between needs and wants is blurred.

Friendship is suffering.It's loosing its meaning or has already lost it.And has decided to take innocence,comfort,security and sharing with it.

Is it going to return?

May be, if it feels that someone is calling out to it with all its heart.


There I was sitting by the bay,
when I saw him walking away
I called out to him,
but he didn't listen
I ran up to him and faced him;
I saw his eyes;they didn't glisten
"What's wrong?" I asked
He said nothing.
Just kept walking,
silence-stricken.

He is friendship
that once was-
honest,pure and secure
Now,he's just obscure.

There is need,there is greed
and so much pretence
His body has lost it's innocence.
His soul is intact but wants to be freed

So he is walking away

I can see him, just walking away...