Thursday, 30 April 2015

Who Cries?

They're soothing.They're calming.They have the quality of being able to cleanse the mind,body and soul.They demand to be unrestricted.Yet, they aren't welcome everywhere.

Strange.

Why is crying so difficult? Why does it come with so many attachments? Like, you can't cry in a public place,you can't cry when you're with people,in front of someone who's not your family or friend and many times you can't even cry with/in front of your family or friends.And the gender stereotypes that come with it, that is a separate theory altogether.


When you feel happy and you laugh out loud,it's fine.When you're irritated and you just snap at someone (irrespective of the place),it's fine.You can get angry and get into a fight no matter where you are.You just can't cry anywhere and everywhere because you're upset or sad or depressed.

Even I find it uncomfortable to cry in open. I wonder why is that...? Have we been taught that? 
At an unconscious level,may be.

Perhaps, there is an existential quality attached to the act of crying and to those salty tears.A quality that once acknowledged and experienced, exposes our soul to the world,in its complete vulnerability and innocence.A state that we would always like to keep close to our hearts.

It almost takes us back to an infant like stage.He/she comes into an unknown world and all he/she can do is cry.

But is crying simply an act of weakness? It's difficult-yes. But just because you cry, it doesn't mean you're weak. In fact,when an infant cries,he/she expresses his needs. That's the language that he knows.

Crying can mean so many things except weakness.In fact, it can be someone's moment of weakness.It's just a  moment and we all are entitled to one.

Crying means acknowledgment and acceptance of what's going on within and outside. It means that even though, you may be unable to do anything to change things, you at least know that something is going on.A something that is important enough to warrant our attention.



It means that the mind needs a break.It's exhausted and has no space to accommodate so much-positive or negative.It needs to be vacuumed.
Have you ever noticed the kind of rambling that one engages in when crying? That's the subconscious talking.

Crying doesn't signify the end.It marks the beginning.Life goes on in a circle and you can do nothing else but move on.When something ends, something new also begins.But we always find it compelling to focus on what's ended,rather than what new can emerge out of it.

We get hurt, we cry
When someone dies, we cry.
When we lose relationships, we cry.
Even when we're overjoyed, we cry.
We're nervous or afraid, we cry.
Sometimes we even cry out of confusion.

But all these don't make us weak.They just point towards some newer realization. Because once the mind has been vacuumed thoroughly and the tears have dried, a light,soothing, almost empty feeling sets in. 

A feeling, that sooner or later,makes us want to get up and go on.

It is at this stage, that we feel most vulnerable to situations and people.But we like to believe we are weak.So the best way to shield ourselves from this is to not cry in front of anyone at all.

May be, if we look at the whole act of crying a little differently and simply acknowledge it as any other emotion that we have justified in our lives, we won't feel weak.

Just because you're  emotionally exposed, doesn't mean you have to be exploited.

As long as you are aware of what your state is, crying,anger,irritation,happiness and all other emotions will be experienced in their purest form-devoid of any other 'convenient' justifications.

Our own vulnerability is scary,because that's what we have made ourselves believe.

It is a state.

States are transient and so are emotions.

Having emotions doesn't make one weak. Lack of awareness does.

I guess, the easiest thing one can do ,is just to accept the way we feel.

After all,emotions are the essence of existence.The label of 'positive' and 'negative' is more than enough to help us rationalize. 

The more labels there are, the more confused we will be.

Emotions don't need labels.They just need to be felt and experienced.

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Share the load activity



SHARE THE LOAD, DON'T OVERLOAD!

SCENE 1 :

 Our washing machine is not working because of overload.It has a capacity of 6kgs and we stuff clothes upto 8-9kgs.It is dead.We need a new one.

SCENE 2 : 
A young woman, in her mid-thirties came to me with complaints of sleeplessness, irritation and depression. She had been married for 7-8 years and had two kids.
During our conversation, I came to know that she had quit her job at the time of her marriage. Her husband has a very time-consuming and tedious job. Even when he comes back home, he’s just sitting with his laptop. She has been managing the house pretty much on her own. She does have help who comes to cook ,but her demands and tantrums also come with her. 
When she tries to talk to her husband, he gets irritated and says, she has nothing else to talk about except maid and house troubles.
 She said that she felt tired most of the day and was unable to sleep during the nights. Her round the clock schedule leaves her with no time and energy to go out and recharge herself. With not much support ,she felt overloaded and drained and depressed.

SCENE 2 : ME ARGUING WITH MY MOM
MOM : Why don’t you join Shashi aunty’s cookery classes? It’s high time you learn to cook! What will you do after marriage?
Me : Ma please ya!You know that I do know how to cook!I just don’t like doing it on a daily basis.I don’t really enjoy it.But it’s not like I can’t cook at all!And what is this marriage thing?Suddenly I am expected to learn so many things!You never say this to Bhai!He should also know how to cook.After all, everyone needs food.
Mom : Don’t be stupid.You’re a girl and sooner or later you will get married.You should know how to run the house-hold and other things.How will you manage?
Me : Not fair.I know I have to manage ‘my own house’ as you say. But, I will get married,not join a company where my roles and responsibilities are written in ink! 
Mom : Uff! Tumse baat karna bekaar hai. (It’s impossible to talk to you!)

What do all these scenarios have in common? Let me elaborate-

1.Managing the house is solely a woman's job (Thank you society for bestowing this wonderful opportunity upon us..or is it God ?)

2. A man has only a few 'very important and prestigious' jobs - Go to office, earn money, give money to the wife for household expenses, attend social events (housework-the wife manages so well!)

3. The possibility of overload exists only for machines. Ladies-you have a duty.(Women were born to do this!God’s blessings are always with us!So please quit the cribbing and get me a coffee!)

4. Even though a husband and wife are 'partners', it's just a fancy term.

Am I saying something blasphemous? Is this not true? No matter how forward and progressive we’d like ourselves to be,it is so deeply ingrained in us that we don’t even realize when and how we’re putting it into practice.

For instance, that couple who came to me.The husband was a very sweet and considerate person. He  just wasn't being able to realize that his wife wasn't cribbing for the sake of it,she was asking for help.After all, it was their house,their problems. She could’ve gone to her friends or neighbors but she didn't want her household issues to become a neighborhood gossip topic. 
All she wanted was a patient ear.And every time the husband snapped and said, “I work all day and I’m tired and your nagging is the last thing I want. Please let me work”, it broke her heart.Was she doing something inconsequential everyday?She gave up her job for their marriage and now she started feeling,there was no marriage..

My constant arguments with my mom about cooking and managing the house, they irk me.What is this ‘you should know this,that’? I haven’t heard a boy being given this kind of a lecture.My brother can cook and can manage things on his own because our parents have taught us and treat us equally.Still, the issue of marriage opens up a different world.
Marriage by definition is the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship.

It’s a union of compliments, equals,partners and not of superiority and division.Nature has defined roles for a man and woman-Provider and Nurturer respectively. But I don’t think nature said “Don’t help each other beyond this”. If the woman can take on the role of a provider at times, why can’t men explore their nurturing side?

Well, they can and when they do, it’s heart warming.
Like in the movie Mary Kom(and in her real life of course!),the husband did a splendid job of being a father and husband and letting Mary Kom pursue her dreams. And Mary too knew when she had to halt her dreams and be at home.This is a marriage of equals.


We don’t trample on each other’s path. We make way for each other. And sharing the household chores is such a minor but fruitful thing. 

This is why I say- DON’T OVERLOAD,SHARE THE LOAD!

HUSBAND & WIFE ARE PARTNERS AND IT’S ‘THEIR HOUSE’. When single, men don’t mind washing their own clothes, keeping the house clean, dealing with the domestic help, cooking etc. Once married, it conveniently changes to "It’s not my job". Why? You married a person equivalent in all respects to you and not a person whose job is to cook and clean. In fact, those people also deserve respect for managing someone else’s house.
It’s more about basic etiquette than anything else.

  

Simple things like making tea/coffee for her, putting away clothes to be washed, helping her set up the dinner table,helping kids with their work etc goes a long way in making a long-lasting marriage.After all, men live in the same house as their wives!



 LITTLE THINGS THAT SHOW YOU CARE-Getting married is a big deal for a girl.It’s like being uprooted and planted on a different soil. She will anyway grow. But as her better half, it’s a man’s duty to nurture and care for her. As a husband,the man will be the center of her universe and his love and concern, are all that she wants. 
 It amazes us(women) when we see our man’s nurturing side in full form. It makes us feel  wanted and loved. 
 So, when the man doesn’t dump his dirty socks on the bed, talks to us about the daily hassles we face, stays at home so that we can have a few hours off...it matters a lot.



 SHARING CHORES GIVES US A CHANCE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER,SPEND TIME AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER-The other day my friend sent me a Whatsapp text saying she’s watching Avengers on t.v and eating cutlets and bread (you’re thinking so what ..?) Well, those were made by her husband and she was so happy that he was pampering her.


By letting your wife have her day off, gives you a chance to take her out or plan surprises at home.It relieves tension and ensures better communication.


SHARING & CARING MINIMIZES CONFLICT.-If only the husband in my above mentioned scenarios, had given a patient hearing to his wife’s woes, she wouldn’t have had a breakdown. Yes, I know after a tiring day at work, no one wants to come back to more inane problems (especially, if you think they’re not yours).For once, look at things from a home-maker’s perspective. She also works the whole week, weekends even more to ensure that her family is comfortable. She just wants to be heard.

And, by listening and sorting out her issues,as a husband ,you ensure that you’re with her at all times. You prevent the creation of mental and later physical distance.You also end up understanding each other better-likes,dislikes,those appreciable habits and those quirks..all become easy to manage!

SAVE SEX!-I know for a lot of people, their ‘night life’ suffers because either the husband is agitated with the wife ,over worked or the wife is too tired or disinterested. If we’re tired at work,we can take a vacation. But does a wife, a mother,a daughter-in-law ever ask for one?

A man’s care,concern, patience and love can be the biggest savior for a woman and works like a charm even when she’s exhausted!Rather than getting cranky day after day, just asking your better-half how is she feeling and if you can contribute in anyway; is more than enough for her.Most of the times, she won't even ask you to do anything (we're just very nice ;-).But if she genuinely needs help, at least she knows she can count on her spouse.



HAVE FUN WHILE DOING THE CHORES-I was watching the movie Ajnabee a few days ago on t.v and there was a scene where, Bobby Deol is trying to teach his wife Kareena Kapoor how to knead the dough and what follows is a song!
Well..we all know what songs in Indian movies signify ..don’t we?So why not give it a try in real life too? After all,’All work and no play,will make anybody dull-be it girl or boy!”

(p.s.- I wonder who was jack,what did he do and why is this idiom only applicable to him and not Jill or Jane?)

SHARING THE CHORES PREPARES YOU FOR LIFE’S TWISTS- Imagine this- a nuclear family-husband,wife and a kid.The wife falls ill, the domestic help decides to quit. The in-laws on either side aren’t available. What will they do? If the man has been more of a partner than a husband, he will be able to take time off work,take care of the basic things like food and groceries till they can find help.If he has also been around as a a father should, he will have no problems in taking care of the child as well.
You never know what kind of a situation you end up in,being together will help you overcome all obstacles.




CHILDREN SEE,CHILDREN DO-My Dad has always been around my mom-listening to her,sorting out her issues and taking a stand in household issues whenever required.
There have been times when he used to get me and my brother ready for school, prepare our lunch boxes (he used to make aloo-parathas everyday!),would always attend our parent teacher meets (even if mom was unable to),take me shopping etc. And that’s what we have learnt from our parents.
We are self sufficient because of them.And that’s what I would teach my kids too!

Parents will always be the anchor to their kids lives.They are sub-consciously & consciously (at times) their little ones' role models.When they see their mummy and daddy together-talking,discussing,helping each other; they pick up these behaviors and attitudes from them.




A woman becomes a wife,not to manage 'her own house'. This designation doesn't entitle her to 'super-woman' powers or tendencies. We've always knows this, but as a society, we just find it convenient to work under certain umbrellas.So much so, that the fear of rain makes us forget that sunshine also exists.

And that sunshine indeed lies within the 'Woman of the house'-who by all means will care,nurture,protect and even provide for her family. All she wants is to be treated like a human-with dignity,respect and lots of love.Not or doing less of cooking,cleaning etc. doesn't reduce her ability to be a good wife,mother or daughter-in-law. It's just her choice.

Something as obvious, as being together in this journey called 'marriage' is over-shadowed by trivial things like cooking,washing,cleaning etc.It even 'becomes an ego and pride issue in many cases.It's easy to say that "What shouldn't be, will always be"; it's not the solution. Marriage is not about 'tags' and 'division of labour'.It's simply about being together-in whichever way-always.

And if we truly are 'modern' and 'progressive' as we claim, then this shouldn't be a topic of discussion at all.Working in your own home, for any member of the family shouldn't be a burden, task or an obligation at all. After all, it's home and not a corporate set up.

But all this is meaningless, if the ultimate aim of any couple is only to manage the house.

The destination should be a happy, fulfilling relationship and sharing the load is just a small step towards it. :-)


“I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at BlogAdda.com in association withAriel.”

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

The 'I' in 'You'



Despite all the things we hate,
Despite all the things we fear,
Despite the deafening silences
and the noise that keeps tearing our ear;
We still go on and on,
Looking for meaning off and on.

The body may die
but the spirit lives on..
Egging us to go on and on...

There is a little thing inside of us that pushes us with all its might
Ready to awaken,
When it's the time to fight.

Seasons come and seasons go
but it just keeps moving us on,
Despite the silences and despite the fear,
We still go on..
Looking for meaning off and on...



A long time ago,I came to the conclusion,that I officially hate winters!Yeah..it's a pretty,white season with  the Christmas and New Year spirit all around.But the problem is,that it's much too white and cold for me!


It's difficult for a tiny person like me,to load up on layers and layers of clothing and still not manage to  feel 'not that cold'.

Given a chance,I'd probably never step out of my room the entire season (or the only dreadful one month)!But the fact is, that just like all the other people who like/don't like winter or any other season,I also step out-everyday.I pile on as many layers of sweatshirts and jackets as possible and venture out to brave the chill,every single day.

The point here, is not winters.I'm certainly not going to give more names to the poor season,than I
 already have. :P I'm actually focusing on our innate ability to face our fears  and keep moving on.

There are so many things that we all fear; perhaps even dread. Deep down we know how crazily difficult it is,to go on with our lives,doing the things we should be doing;with that beast of a thing called 'fear' within us.

Yet, there is a small part of us,that does an amazing job of pushing us-allowing us to be our self-fight off all the things that unnerve us. This part of us gives us the much needed 'courage shots'!

For instance,an everyday courage shot for me,is to go and do my job.A job that I enjoy and that fills me with  warmth and joy.Thus, leaving little or no room for the chill at all :)

Some people don't enjoy their work,some marriages are on the rocks,some struggle to find an identity,some have to brave out painful situations every day.

Yes. they get tired. Frustration sets in.But till the time,they don't get what they're actually seeking; they keep taking these courage shots.

Of course,it means a great deal,if such a shot is handed over to us by someone who loves us.Someone who is the silver lining in our dark clouds. A little appreciation, a little encouragement,a few compliments here and there.That's all to do the trick-right?

Yet, you can never be hundred percent sure,that this will last a lifetime.Can you?

Everyone is struggling-little or more.The degree may vary,but the fact won't.
People may/may not be there with us, for us.But there's one person that will always be-the 'I' in you.

The shot becomes more potent the minute I give it to myself.There might be times when what people say,remains just on the periphery.But the minute the shot comes from within-it ignites something within.

So while you were thinking, you won't be able to even walk.Here you are preparing for a marathon!

You can wander off wherever you want. Seek solace in whatever,whoever you want.

But the best and the most potent and enjoyable shot will always be served by you.

The 'I' in you.


--Damini Grover

Friday, 24 April 2015

My life,My world #Celebrate life activity#

   मैं हूं,
क्या ये काफी नही    
  जो और बहाने  ढूंढ़ू मैं ?
                                                          
                                                 जिंदगी है मेरी, जिसे रोज़ जीती हूं मैं,                                                                                                  नए अरमानों कि लड़ी, रोज़ पिरोती हूं मैं ,                                                                                कुछ  पाती , कुछ  खोती हूं मैं,                                            
         अल्फाजों से  कभी, तो कभी खामोशी से
 मन की बात कहती हूं मैं |
   

 ये आसमान है  मेरा, जिसे देखती हूं मैं,
 ये ज़मीन भी मेरी, जिस पर  चलती  हूं मैं,
 ये रास्ते भी मेरे जिन पर गिरती-संमलती हूं मैं |
इतना कुछ देखती ,सुनती,महसूस करती हूं मैं..


    मैं हूं,

 ये काफी है,

                                                         और  बहाने क्यों  ढूंढ़ू मैं |                                                                          


Suddenly you're thrown into this world and everyone rejoices at the arrival of a new life.From thereon,begins the journey of a lifelong occasion called BEING ALIVE.

I woke up last Monday morning, feeling cranky and irritable.I thought I was suffering from the usual "Monday Blues". I didn't bother too much and went about my day, rather normally.Yet, I was feeling queasy. I had been thinking of buying some new clothes for quite a while.So I thought, I'll get off a little early from work and do some shopping. But,as time passed, I started asking myself 'What is the need?' There's no event or occasion coming up, so why waste money? There!I dropped the idea.

I wonder why...why did I need a reason to do something that could have made me feel a little better? The week has passed, I've been busy and I've learnt my lesson
-You don't need an occasion to do something for yourself. Occasions don't create happiness,the mind does. 






Many a times we lose a lot of moments in trying to find meaning.The why, what,when of life has become so over-powering, that the simple things in life get lost in this myriad of reasons,explanations,excuses and occasions.Everything needs to have a purpose,a reason,an objective.If it doesn't have one, then it's conveniently rendered useless or unimportant by the over-worked mind.


Time over time, we have made ourselves believe that the only way to be happy is by doing something. A something that the world can see,hear and judge. And that undermines the very essence of life-of being alive,of being able to experience life in it's most amazing and magnificent shades!


All of us are born in the same way and we know that we have to follow a predetermined path.Then what is so special about life? The occasions? The happy birthday to you,the welcomes,promotions, good-byes, marriage, anniversary etc ?


What if these occasions never existed? The person who invented these concepts never invented these? Then what would we celebrate? 


I guess, the only thing we're left with , is our 'self'. A 'self' that doesn't always get its dues because it's too busy paying off its own debts!



Sometimes and  most of the times,all we need is a mirror-to see,admire and applaud the wonderful creatures that we are! So unique even in our similarities.

Occasion or no occasion, life doesn't need an excuse.It's an occasion in itself! One that ought to be celebrated with aplombThe depth of life is not measured by what happened, when and how!In fact, it cannot be measured at all. It can only be lived.




And here's why I think my life is a celebration and these things are all that I need-

  • That little bark and those tiny paws that wake me up every morning!-My day is just incomplete if my little pooch doesn't stand outside my room-barking and whining and urging me to open the door and let him in!It's our wake up ritual-7a.m everyday!(Weekends included!) Him running off to hijack my blanket,us fighting over it and finally both of us cuddling together for some more snooze time!It's all so wonderful! And I experience  innocent,unadulterated, unconditional love everyday! What's not to celebrate?
  • My weird, loving family!I don't really get the concept of Father's Day, Mother's Day etc.Why do I have to allot just one day in a year to tell my folks how much I love them? Love is an emotion, not a one time occasion! Sometimes we have our sunny sides up and sometimes we're badly cooked ;p But at the end of each day, when my mommy asks me 'kal khane mein kya khaogi? Tumhare liye ye bana dun?', I know things are back to normal. If you have a loving, supportive family, that's a reason in itself ! Birthdays,anniversaries etc are just added frills! 

  •  My job!My students!-There's no better feeling in the world, than to be appreciated,admired and loved for what you do. I've been working as a trainer for quite sometime now, and everyday is fulfilling. I look forward to going to work everyday, I'm always planning fun and interesting ways to teach my students.We have fun classes on most of the days!Why shouldn't I celebrate my efforts and results? By the time my promotion comes, I would've forgotten these tiny moments that fill my heart and mind with joy everyday :)
  • My will to become better-I have been suffering from a chronic back problem.It started when I was just 17 and I had reached a stage where I couldn't even get up from the bed.After several therapies and treatments,I'm better. I can't do most of the activities that people of my age do. My career suffered a tremendous set back because of my health.Yes, I was broken.But I have fought.And now,when I look back,I'm amazed at how far I've come. Everyday I tell myself, 'Keep going on','it will get better' and I can see the change. From not being able to get up,to holding a job for a year; I'd say I'm doing a good job! Thus,everyday I pat myself a little and let my inner child dance a little :)
  • My words-I can use my words to communicate all the things I want to.I can talk,I can write,I can use my silence to express a plethora of emotions. I rejoice every time I'm able to string a few words together in the form of a poem,a post,a meaningful message.I am happy and grateful when people leave a comment on my post saying how good it is-even if it's just one. My words make me want to celebrate!
  • My relationships-My friends-those few people who have managed to create their own special place in my heart:) Talking to them, seeing the trust and faith they have in me,meeting them,being a part of their lives in small ways....it's wonderful.

Life is and will be hidden in these small moments. Festivals,functions, occasions are additional perks of being a part of the circle if life. But we all need these tiny dots to complete our circle. After all, occasions last for a day or few;moments last for a lifetime.              
                                                             

#CelebrateLifeAtIvy by owning a dream home atIvy estate, an 85 acre estate with 34 acres of greenery and open spaces. Join the 1600 happy families already living here. Check out this walkthrough video and decide for yourself.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

The Dance of the Mind

I woke up to myself on a chirpy morning,
Woke up to my hands and feet itching to dance,
Woke up to my ears itching for the sound of romance,
I woke up to my wants and wants and many more,
I woke up to feel myself a little and then..
Some more...

I had my yin awake and alive,
But my yang was lost deep in thought,
Scattered across, with issues it was fraught..
I wanted to dance and dance so much,
I wanted to love and love so much,
To run,to scream and shout,
To tell the world that from my cocoon, I was about to come out...

But stood my yang in front of me
Worried and scared for itself
And for me;

What if you fall and hurt yourself,
What if he hurts you and breaks your heart ?
What if you shout a little too much,
What if you fail and lose too much..?

Its too dark and much too deep,
Shut your yin and go to sleep.

No I won't! replied my yin,
I don't want to lose or  win.

You see the dark and I can see the light,
You see the fear and I'll gather the might.
If the hearts breaks ,I'll piece it up and make it new,
You have the eyes,I'll be the view.

It was then, that I woke up to myself
Dreaming,wanting and being some more..

My darkness had met its light
I said to my fear 'it's all right'
I needed some black to appreciate my white
I needed some wrong to set it right.

So there I was dancing and singing along                      
A wonderful yin and yang song.                                      
And I hugged myself in a soulful embrace
As doubts and worries left no trace.
I wake up to myself itching to dance
My ears longing for a sound of romance..
I wake up every morning wanting more and more
I wake up in harmony
Struggling no more.

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Decoding 'being you'




The idea of writing about this, popped into my head while I was watching Jabong's ad. The tag line is a very cool and comfy 'be you' and I was wondering what does it actually mean?
 You are you only..why would you be someone else and    dress like him/her! It's obvious, isn't it ?

But a few moments later it dawned on me...Ki aisa nahi hai!

Majority of us think we are unique and like no one else.. But a large part of us is still struggling to find its own voice and identity (you can ignore this line if its not applicable to you & you have found yourself :p).

So, I thought why not decode this 'be you' phenomena and understand it in a way that even I can use it :)

Here I go with my random thoughts -

BE AWARE!-of what you like,don't like,what you want to or don't want to do etc. and if you think you're lost,then try different things,experiment and explore.The world is your canvas my friend! Paint it however you like!:) Sooner or later,you will be in a more comfortable space. Some discoveries take time :)  
                                     

 SELF ACCEPTANCE GOES A LONG WAY- Change your self-talk to 'Han bhai,main aisa hi hun!' from 'Main aisa kyun hun'.Call it a genetic defect or whatever, but that's how you are! :P Short/tall,slim/fat,beautiful/less beautiful, handsome/less handsome, ambitious/clueless,successful/less successful etc.There are no absolutes in life.No one is 'just one thing'. We are complex beings with a highly rich inner life.What we choose to display and perceive, is a matter of time and priorities. Once we accept the way we are, half of life's battle is won!At some point  we need to say-'Jo hai yahi hai' and at best,you can improve yourself for your own happiness. But not because other people want you to be in a certain way.Weigh the pros and cons, of however you choose to be and then just live with it :) (khushi-khushi!:D)

DRESS AS YOU WISH! For some reason,dressing has become a big part of our society.Yet, the fact is, that no matter what you wear,you will still be judged :) And there's only a little bit that you can do to stop that.If judgement is the case, then might as well judge for yourself! So..it's party time and you're thinking 'what should I wear'. Why not change it to 'what do I want to wear tonight?'. It's a different feeling when you put on your favorite or comfiest dress and carry it off with panache, isn't it ? 
              

LEARN TO SAY NO! I have always wondered, why do all these spiritual sites and articles advocate this.But, slowly I am beginning to realize, the power of 'no'. Ghoom phir ke..baat ek hi hai-What are you doing for yourself and what are you doing for others. Following Christian Grey's mantra 'we aim to please' is best left to him only ;) (p.s. 'Aim to please' if it makes you happy-truly! )

DON'T THINK THIS ARTICLE IS ANTI-PEOPLE! Haha!No way! But it's easy to get lost in this vast sea of people,ideas,opinions and choices.The minute you find your own voice, no matter where you are, you can always give a shout out to yourself!


So,what do we know?
That..'be you' sounds a bit cliche  ..

 And...

What have we learnt ?
That... it's the best way to live happily ever after!