Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Use your &


We enter his world with naked bodies and a pure soul. A soul, that lacks worldly knowledge. It can only experience. It wants to see, smile, touch and feel everything. It laughs with those tiny eyes, at all the people and things that amuse and cries at anything that is discomforting.

It wants to play and be caressed at the same time. It wants to cry and sleep at the same time. It’s pure and experiential.It can’t make choices because it doesn't know how to.
It’s the knowledge of the world that corrupts it. It learns to say the word ‘or’ and to impose it, on every other non-corrupt soul that it can find. And that’s how the world works.

Mine used to as well. Till I realized, that making choices in life, is also a choice. And I chose, not to make those choices, which corrupt my experiential soul.

And my soul is free. I am everything that I could be and much more. I am a Psychologist, a Dancer and an English Language trainer. I sing when I want to and write when I feel like. Talk about one job and I have two! Think about hobbies and I have many!

I am strong and weak at times. I am crazy and sensible. I am determined and lazy. I procrastinate and I am on time. I am certain and I am confused. I laugh, I cry and I can hold back my tears too. I endure with all the strength that I have and I allow myself to fall weak.

My heart has been broken a hundred times and I have joined it piece by piece. I have suffered with all my might and I am ready to take on more. For every time I fall, a part of me rises like a phoenix because I am ‘me’.

I am all this and a lot more. I am passionate about being ‘me’. And being ‘me’ is not easy. It’s simple and complicated .It’s calming and intriguing.It's daunting and stimulating.

I am my own questions and answers too...

Most of us spend our lives worrying that we’ll be seen. Not realizing, that most of it goes in not being seen at all. And I want to be seen, heard and felt.

I can’t make choices in life because I don’t want to. I can’t live in a box because I don’t want to. Because I exist and not just survive. Because, I am awake, aware and alive.

I am me and not my shadow and I take my pure spirit with me, wherever I go.

For when my time comes to gently slide into my sleep; my body will perish, but my soul will be rich with experiences galore;

Because I am and will be ‘me’ AND much more....

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

Sunday, 11 January 2015

A Foe Turned Friend

They Met and How!

She was vibrant and cheerful.She was happy in all the ways that one could be.The perfect daughter,the perfect student,the perfect friend. If you had a problem, she was the first one you would run to. If you were down and low,you could count on her to cheer you up.

Her life was always buzzing with people and activity. She was never alone. Yet,she was lonely. Lonely in ways ,only she knew. Perhaps, a little too perfect for her own good.

Yet she was happy.She never complained because she didn't know what to complain about. She had everything she wanted.

Until she met him.

He was simple yet smart. He was 'Mr.know it all',who knew nothing about emotions. He stayed away from them. He had loads of friends. Yet, he loved his solitude. And no one could ever make him feel otherwise. 

Until he met her.

They were poles apart and they hated each other. He was over friendly and she was too guarded. He made jokes on her,which she couldn't digest. But every once in a while, she would get back at him which would leave him fuming.

They had common friends who had no option but to endure their 'interaction'. It was impossible not to call them on occasions and equally difficult to keep them apart.

'He's annoying like hell!', she would say to her friends. Yet,she couldn't deny to herself, that the way he looked at her, gave her goosebumps!.

'She thinks she's someone really great! That ego would put a balloon to shame!'',he thought. But he knew ,that she was different.

Somehow,he could see those iron walls she had built around her. He was desperate to break them down. He knew she wasn't going to be easy, to deal with. But he had to find a way.

She too hoped, he would.

Every now and then he would drop in a message or two and a subtle complement here and there. He could read the smiles in her texts and see the blush on her cheeks. He knew he had made a dent somewhere.

She made him feel different. His solitude became annoying for him.He wanted more of her.

It was around pm on a Saturday night when he called her up for the first time. She was with someone and she had laughed on hearing his voice. She said she'd call him back. And he knew that he would never receive that call.

But he did. And what a call that was! They talked the whole night about everything under the sun. It was a strangely refreshing and fun conversation they had had in a long time with anyone. And they spoke again the next day and after that. They couldn't stop.

As their days would begin,they would be overcome by this sudden urge to hear each other's voice. They would make fun of inane things and share their deepest,darkest desires.

When they were together,the world would slip into oblivion.

They would argue and fight and make up within a few minutes. They loved the glitter in each other's eyes.

With each other,time just flew.

There was no room for any ego,any walls or solitude. There were conversations and much more.

Who would have though that they would come so close.Worlds so different would become one.
Who would have thought they would've fallen in love. A love so crazy that it knew no bounds.

A love so complete, that it didn't need a world around.

Just two people who became friends..best friends and nothing could and would ever change that.

Because sometimes, all you need is a friend to fall in love with.

---Damini Grover

*This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.*

Sunday, 4 January 2015

January-Jeans and Journeys

Sitting on the window sill,
Feeling the cold January chill,
I wondered,what I had left behind.

Sipping my coffee, hugging my knees,
The world seemed a different kind.
It seemed like I  had lost a lot;
Yet,I had found some thing.

And now it's time,to move ahead
Leaving my footprints behind
With my sweater and jeans on,
I no longer care what I have left behind.

I never quite realized when and how,the past year just went by.It doesn't really seem, that something has been left behind. Rather,a lot has been carried forward.And that's nothing more, than a little part of me.Every year when the calendar changes,it feels like something new is going to happen. It may take on any adjective that I'd like to give to it-good,bad,weird, sad,happy, exciting...it just goes on.Every year, I have this unrelenting quest, to become a little more of me..whatever and however it may be possible.

There's a quaint comfort in knowing and feeling,that each year you hold your hand a little tighter and assure yourself that no matter what, you'll be there for yourself.

A great deal of what makes me is my clothes. I have this weird obsession with buying clothes.. Every two-three weeks(I hope my dad doesn't read this!) I pick up something that might look good on me.Not because, I want to be perceived in a particular manner.But, because it gives me a sense of 'newness'.Every day my clothes resonate with my mood.Sometimes comfortable,sometimes stylish,unkempt..anything!

Yet,the strangest part is..that I never buy jeans...never too many of them.And I never, ever wear anything else but my jeans with different tops.I don't even like trading them for a skirt or a dress or trousers and let's not even talk about the fuss I make when I have to!

I am happy in my two pairs of my jeans..which I always wear and will wear till they scream to be relieved!

My jeans are me.not more not less.. Just me.

Every day they remind me of the sheer strength and endurance that resides within me.They symbolize the comfort that I get when I be 'me' and not how the world wants me to be.

Its not about one journey.Rather, the journeys that I take in my jeans; in the comfort of being myself, that makes them so close to me.Seasons go by,events come and go.I stay rooted- here and now and wear my jeans-wherever I go.

Perhaps,there isn't a life changing event that I could talk about.

But I can remember and keep with me,in the pocket of my jeans..all the moments that I treasure.All those moments that I need to preserve and those, that will lead me into this new year and many more.
And when my pockets are full;I will move on to a new pair of jeans...find that same comfort that lies within my own skin..and stuff the pockets with newer memories :)

*This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.*
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