Monday, 30 September 2013

opinion matters!

Opinion matters!
Not everything is spelt out in a name you know..
As they say ‘never judge a book by its cover’. Just because a place or a person sounds or doesn’t sound  nice, interesting etc.  doesn’t mean that this is going to be the case.

Most of the times we just form an opinion based on what we have heard or seen, rather than our own experience. 

Whatever we choose to do or not do in life, our prior experience as well the one we may have in the future, plays a crucial role in determining what kind of association, we are likely to form.
Like you go to a popular cafe, order the best drink available there and don’t like it! Not that they made it purposely bad, but because u have a different taste than the rest!

Or you meet a person whom no one likes ‘in general’ and ur interaction tells u that u like this person. May be there’s something about him/her that others are not able to see. Or you end up disliking the most liked person!

It’s not that we shouldn’t go by others’ opinions, but experiencing something first hand always has its own meaning. And somewhere, we need to trust ourselves with what we think or feel.
Im not saying that people don’t do that. But its become quite easy to get swayed by what others think/feel about us, about our choices etc. So much so, that without realising, we allow them to make choices for us.

For instance, the not being ‘fat’ is the in-thing today. Agreed, being fat is not good. But not because one should look attractive all the time. But because it’s not healthy!

So, the focus should be on losing weight or fat..but not losing our mind over weight!

Probably we never realise, but our opinions tend to be quite frivolous in the beginning. They are more like fleeting statements, till we actually find something to substantiate it-either by fluke or by conscious effort. E.g. I don’t like her. why? um...i don’t know..
Similarly, people say ‘i want to lose weight’ or ‘i want to do this, that etc’. why? Because you want to be like someone else?

Why??why do u want to be like someone else, do what someone else is doing when you are endowed with choices of your own?
Why cant it be as simple as ‘I want to be healthy’ or ‘i want to look good’ or ‘i like it’ or ‘i don’t want to do it’...?

It’s not possible to ‘not listen’ to what others have to say. But its not necessary to always go by what they say. Pressure to conform to something should only be encouraged by the self, if one can see something positive coming out of it.

There are always two kinds of lenses through which one sees the world-your own and that of others.
Just like there are no absolutes in life, there is no one lens that’s correct for every situation, place or person.

People who wear specs, may not have the same power in both eyes...but they still wear both the lenses together.

No matter where u go, whom u meet or whatever u do...balance will always be the key to comfort and security.

Even in opinions, if we’re able to knit our as well the world view together perfectly, we may just be able to get a wonderful experience!



Its complicated!

Haven’t we all wondered why relationships are so complicated?not just romantic, but any relationship for that matter.
I mean its weird..they start so simply..u like someone or u don’t like someone or ur just somewhere in between.and then as days,months and years progress, the dynamics just change.
Sometimes the sensation, the ‘gut-feeling ‘ is just so right...yet things go ahead and take on a different color altogether!
What changes? why does it change? why are some people always ‘so lucky’ with relationships..why do some people constantly struggle?
Perhaps, the most defining aspect of any relationship is the fact that it involves individuals-two, three etc; who come with their own individuality, thought process, preferences, experiences, emotions etc and then begins a tussle-whether to let go of how one has been for majority part of one’s lives or to hold onto our sense of being for our dear lives!
What is the ideal way of sustaining one selves and our relationships?
rather,is there an ideal way?
Perhaps not.because being with anyone, in whatever capacity involves a sense of self discovery.and discovery and our sense of self , both are continuous processes...things  that never really end. but we are for most part of our lives, are not aware of this fact.and so the questions and the struggle never ends.
Why do we fear commitment...at times because it involves compromising and letting go of some part of ourselves or sometimes, we are afraid of being made aware of the inner aspects of ourselves.
Why do we long for someone to fill the void in our lives..so that we can be made to feel different..complete..so that we get to know ourselves better.
Sometimes we decide to shut ourselves from the ones we love the most, because we don’t want to be the ones to hurt them..and yet, at times we find ourselves in the middle of arguments and quarrels that could be easily avoided :p
But in relationships, what starts in one way, doesn’t have to follow a predetermined path.
For along the way we encounter numerous situations,thoughts,emotions..that change our perceptions, our beliefs..and at times lead us to react in ways that were not familiar to us before.
Just like us, our relationships are dynamic.they cannot and should not be the same.of course, the essence of our relationships should be the same...the foundation-strong.yet, we should be adaptable and open minded enough to give room to ourselves and the others to explore, evaluate,choose,react and decide how we want to grow together.
Every relation-good or bad is meant to teach us something.only, if we are perceptive to our own inner selves.
Fights with our parents or loved ones teach us how right or wrong we are, or how valued we are with respect to each other.
Friendships and love relationships are integral to our self esteem,our growth, our need to feel special at any time of the day!
The bad of a relationship is as important as the good!
Yes, relationships are complicated..and more so because many-a-times we don’t know whats going on within ourselves. Isnt it common that we get into a relationship just like that..and then realise what we got ourselves into?or we just decide to behave ‘weirdly’ because we are angry,frustrated,depressed,excited?
Yes, we do..we all do.yet, its our associations, interactions with other people that lead us to discover something or the other about ourselves.and it is this self discovery that finds its place in some other relationship!

And it goes on...:)