Thursday, 26 December 2013

Life in randomness

Sometimesi wish that life would stop by...
And once in a while ask me..
How was i.
Somedays i would tell life to slow down a bit
And somedays to just walk past..
At times i wud ask if it wants to talk
Or just run fast.
Sometimes i wish i cud let life live me..
And i wud just walk by..

Stop..look back and see...

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

confused?

There is a ‘self’ in all of us...that we hide from the world..
A side that could be vulnerable or strong.
That philosophises or behaves stupidly.
That cares a lot...or is too indifferent.

But just because we choose not to show it..does it mean we are fake..pretending to be someone we are actually not?just because we choose not to fit into every mould that is offered to us..does it mean that we cease to be our own self?
It’s like saying what is not visible, does not exist.
But there is more to us, more to our life than what meets the eye.
And why must everything be for the world? For everyone to see, judge, analyse, comment..?

Like so many things that we like to do; there is a sense of self that we all like to preserve and protect.
The entirety of life is spent in juggling between the acts of holding onto and letting go..whether its about things, events, people or even ourselves.

So then when do we actually become fake?
When we decide to behave in ways that are contrary to our real selves.. ourselves as lived and experienced by us and not merely seen by others.
I don’t like what’s happening yet i support it because everyone is doing so.
I don’t like someone; i make it obvious to everyone. But i pretend to be best friends with that person.

I mean..there is no explanation to being fake or pretentious. And we don’t need to explain ourselves to anyone , but ourselves first.
But we get lost,we get swayed by what glitters ...so much so that we lose our own shine..to adopt a different hue.
I don’t know what drives people to be unfair to their own selves.

Not letting the world know some parts of yourself and trying to be someone who ur actually not..are two different things; often confused as one.





Monday, 14 October 2013

Sometimes





Sometimes all u need in life is a leap of faith..a leap towards yourself, your fears, anxieties, wants...
With the faith that no matter what happens..you will be there to hold yourself..and even though this sounds very romantic..it’s a much more difficult task to attempt.

We are so busy leading a well structured, well planned life; that uncertainty scares us.
And moving towards one’s own self, involves loads and loads of it!

As time passes, we become more and more cut off from our own selves...lose our identity, to a host of relationships and responsibilities.

But wouldn't it be better to find yourself in everything that u pursue..Every relation you make or break?
Sometimes one needs to block the peripheral world..to be able to see what lies ahead of us..

The essence of life perhaps, never was and never will be ..to succumb to it..rather...to collect the bits..add our own colors..smoothen out the edges..and make our own masterpiece.


Because sometimes, life is not "as it happens".Life is "as you make it".

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

what do we most want from life..

what do we most want from life?

Is there something that underlies all the efforts that we make to build a life?
what do we most want out of our life?
for some people life is all about being successful,powerful,rich etc
while some are happy with little achievements and the little things of life.
and there are those who let life just happen on its own..not knowing where they are headed..but they welcome life with open arms..and embrace the destination that awaits them.
we want so much from our life..but at the end of the day..its just that one things that makes all our struggles and achievements worthwhile...'happiness'.

isn't it?
we feel happy when we achieve something?
when we are applauded..when our wish gets fulfilled..when our efforts are rewarded..
we are happy when our loved ones are happy..
we are happy..when we are actually happy!

whats the point of being at the top..when you are not satisfied with what uv got?when it doesnt brong a smile on ur face...and all u can think of is what to do next?
what do u do with so much money,when u have no time to enjoy it?
whats the point of doing something that only frustrates u or puts loads ofnquestions in ur mind?
happiness is not something that just comes out of things on its own!
actually..we dont quite end up doing the things which simply generate happiness..
like everything else..it requires effort..it requires time..sometimes less and sometimes more..

yes,there are things in life that we cannot control.
some things just have to be done...because at times we get stuck and we feel that we have 'no choice'.
but amidst all this,are we still not hoping to be happy?to be content?to be peaceful?

whatever we do in life..it will always be a means to an end...the end being happiness.
so then what is happiness?how do we define it?
being 'happy' involves so much..being able to smile for no reason at all :)
being able to pursue what you love doing..even if it is in small amounts..
being able to spend time with people we like,we love..
travelling..shopping..reading...
just about anything that brings peace in our mind and a smile on our face.

for at the end of it..our quest in life should never be about earning for the sake of it or earning more than someone...
being powerful to suppress the less powerful ones..
or achieving more just to prove a point or going mad over simply achieving.
surprisingly,we always get time and the 'piece' of mind over frivolous things in life..
but we lose ourselves to that time..to those emotions that we don't need to cater to..

nothing matters more in life than a sense of contentment,peace and happiness...that a life well lived can give..

and yes,its just a perspective ..:)


Monday, 30 September 2013

opinion matters!

Opinion matters!
Not everything is spelt out in a name you know..
As they say ‘never judge a book by its cover’. Just because a place or a person sounds or doesn’t sound  nice, interesting etc.  doesn’t mean that this is going to be the case.

Most of the times we just form an opinion based on what we have heard or seen, rather than our own experience. 

Whatever we choose to do or not do in life, our prior experience as well the one we may have in the future, plays a crucial role in determining what kind of association, we are likely to form.
Like you go to a popular cafe, order the best drink available there and don’t like it! Not that they made it purposely bad, but because u have a different taste than the rest!

Or you meet a person whom no one likes ‘in general’ and ur interaction tells u that u like this person. May be there’s something about him/her that others are not able to see. Or you end up disliking the most liked person!

It’s not that we shouldn’t go by others’ opinions, but experiencing something first hand always has its own meaning. And somewhere, we need to trust ourselves with what we think or feel.
Im not saying that people don’t do that. But its become quite easy to get swayed by what others think/feel about us, about our choices etc. So much so, that without realising, we allow them to make choices for us.

For instance, the not being ‘fat’ is the in-thing today. Agreed, being fat is not good. But not because one should look attractive all the time. But because it’s not healthy!

So, the focus should be on losing weight or fat..but not losing our mind over weight!

Probably we never realise, but our opinions tend to be quite frivolous in the beginning. They are more like fleeting statements, till we actually find something to substantiate it-either by fluke or by conscious effort. E.g. I don’t like her. why? um...i don’t know..
Similarly, people say ‘i want to lose weight’ or ‘i want to do this, that etc’. why? Because you want to be like someone else?

Why??why do u want to be like someone else, do what someone else is doing when you are endowed with choices of your own?
Why cant it be as simple as ‘I want to be healthy’ or ‘i want to look good’ or ‘i like it’ or ‘i don’t want to do it’...?

It’s not possible to ‘not listen’ to what others have to say. But its not necessary to always go by what they say. Pressure to conform to something should only be encouraged by the self, if one can see something positive coming out of it.

There are always two kinds of lenses through which one sees the world-your own and that of others.
Just like there are no absolutes in life, there is no one lens that’s correct for every situation, place or person.

People who wear specs, may not have the same power in both eyes...but they still wear both the lenses together.

No matter where u go, whom u meet or whatever u do...balance will always be the key to comfort and security.

Even in opinions, if we’re able to knit our as well the world view together perfectly, we may just be able to get a wonderful experience!



Its complicated!

Haven’t we all wondered why relationships are so complicated?not just romantic, but any relationship for that matter.
I mean its weird..they start so simply..u like someone or u don’t like someone or ur just somewhere in between.and then as days,months and years progress, the dynamics just change.
Sometimes the sensation, the ‘gut-feeling ‘ is just so right...yet things go ahead and take on a different color altogether!
What changes? why does it change? why are some people always ‘so lucky’ with relationships..why do some people constantly struggle?
Perhaps, the most defining aspect of any relationship is the fact that it involves individuals-two, three etc; who come with their own individuality, thought process, preferences, experiences, emotions etc and then begins a tussle-whether to let go of how one has been for majority part of one’s lives or to hold onto our sense of being for our dear lives!
What is the ideal way of sustaining one selves and our relationships?
rather,is there an ideal way?
Perhaps not.because being with anyone, in whatever capacity involves a sense of self discovery.and discovery and our sense of self , both are continuous processes...things  that never really end. but we are for most part of our lives, are not aware of this fact.and so the questions and the struggle never ends.
Why do we fear commitment...at times because it involves compromising and letting go of some part of ourselves or sometimes, we are afraid of being made aware of the inner aspects of ourselves.
Why do we long for someone to fill the void in our lives..so that we can be made to feel different..complete..so that we get to know ourselves better.
Sometimes we decide to shut ourselves from the ones we love the most, because we don’t want to be the ones to hurt them..and yet, at times we find ourselves in the middle of arguments and quarrels that could be easily avoided :p
But in relationships, what starts in one way, doesn’t have to follow a predetermined path.
For along the way we encounter numerous situations,thoughts,emotions..that change our perceptions, our beliefs..and at times lead us to react in ways that were not familiar to us before.
Just like us, our relationships are dynamic.they cannot and should not be the same.of course, the essence of our relationships should be the same...the foundation-strong.yet, we should be adaptable and open minded enough to give room to ourselves and the others to explore, evaluate,choose,react and decide how we want to grow together.
Every relation-good or bad is meant to teach us something.only, if we are perceptive to our own inner selves.
Fights with our parents or loved ones teach us how right or wrong we are, or how valued we are with respect to each other.
Friendships and love relationships are integral to our self esteem,our growth, our need to feel special at any time of the day!
The bad of a relationship is as important as the good!
Yes, relationships are complicated..and more so because many-a-times we don’t know whats going on within ourselves. Isnt it common that we get into a relationship just like that..and then realise what we got ourselves into?or we just decide to behave ‘weirdly’ because we are angry,frustrated,depressed,excited?
Yes, we do..we all do.yet, its our associations, interactions with other people that lead us to discover something or the other about ourselves.and it is this self discovery that finds its place in some other relationship!

And it goes on...:)